


With All the Kindness You Have Shown

by Liza0111



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post-Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-02 03:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4044094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza0111/pseuds/Liza0111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slaine hates how Inaho Kaizuka is entirely unreadable. Even with the bit of kindness he has shown him, Slaine is convinced that he is nothing but trouble to the brunet's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have decided that I want to try writing a longer fiction for Inasure. I have never actually been able to finish any of my long fan fiction in the past......but I wanted to do it for Slaine. He deserves all the happiness in the world. Plus it's the summer, so I might as well take the chance before college takes up all my time again!  
> Inevitably, there is going to be angst. But I assure you that there are plenty of fluff to come, and Slaine will find his happiness.  
> I hope you will enjoy this fan fiction as much as I do writing it!

 

 

 

The night can’t hear him cry.

 

Slaine covers his mouth with both of his hands, muffling the sobs that try to escape his lips. It is late, and the guards are asleep. They probably wouldn’t be able to hear him, but he doesn’t want to risk it. He has no desire to display his vulnerabilities.

No matter how hard he tries, he will never be free of the guilt and regret that fill his chest every time he closes his eyes. It is a blessing when he manages to sleep through the night without waking up screaming.

He has learned to simply accept the pain as part of his remaining life. He lies on his bed, staring at the white ceiling above him, allowing his tears to roll off his cheeks.

Slaine gave up on keeping track of the days a long time ago. Not that it mattered anyway. He is dead to the world. His name will forever be attached to the nefarious title of a cold-blooded murderer, the criminal who tries to kill the peace-loving empress of Vers along with countless innocent Terrans. There is no more need of him anywhere in the world.

Even though Empress Asseylum’s wish was for him to be saved, he has no doubt that this is indeed, a punishment that he must endure for all the crimes he had committed. For him, this is a punishment worse than death.

 

 

There is no future waiting for Slaine Troyard.

He smiles bitterly at the thought.

 

 

His life here remains a constant. The guards bring him meals at the exact same time. The food is always the same. The hours he is allowed to shower are always the same. Each day is routine and meaningless.

 

Everything except for the brown haired man.

 

Inaho Kaizuka. The only changing variable. Although he always visits at regular intervals, the brunet is unpredictable. He brings Slaine different homemade meals. Although Slaine has never admitted to Inaho, his cooking is in fact, surprisingly good. Sometimes, he even bring books with him for Slaine to keep. He comes here three times a week, making sure Slaine is eating, and not trying to kill himself.

Although he detests the presence of the young soldier, a small part of him acknowledges that seeing the face of someone other than the prison guards and having someone address him by his name can be refreshing, at least momentarily. The guards rarely talk to him. Hearing Inaho Kaizuka pronouncing his name sends a streaks of pain through him, reminding him that he is still alive.

Slaine doesn’t understand Inaho Kaizuka’s motives behind any of his actions. But if he has to take a guess, it would be his desire to fulfill the empress’s last wish for him. He likes to emphasize that a lot, especially when Slaine refuses to eat.

“Seylum has asked me to save you.”

Inaho Kaizuka is an intelligent man, and he knows that no matter how angry or frustrated he is, he will end up agreeing upon hearing her name.

 

He must be a nuisance to the brunet. There is no other reason for someone to want to keep on visiting the person who almost killed them, let alone taking care of them. Inaho has always keep his distance away, and never asks him any questions. He never shows any emotions in front of him, demonstrating that he has no interest in being affiliated with someone like him.

 

 

Inaho Kaizuka’s life would be much easier if he disappears for good.

 

 

Slaine closes his eyes.

 

Tomorrow, the man is going to visit again. He knows that for sure, because he is not someone that breaks their habits. He is like a machine, one that continues to follow the command of another. Inaho’s dedication to his well-being only emanate from a promise he seeks to keep.

 

 

Maybe he will get tired of it soon. He wishes Inaho can stop coming here. As much as he hates the brunet, he hates the thought of anyone having to suffer due to his existence even more.


	2. Inaho Kaizuka

 

 

It has been seven months since the defeat of Slaine Troyard. 

 

Many things have changed since the war had ended. An era of peace, they call it. As the two planets focus on repairing the damages that were done in the war, people are starting to move forward. There are now things to be hopeful for. May this be the last war in human history. They say. For sure, everything will be better from this point on. They say.

 

Of course, the horrid images of war haven’t faded from people’s minds, but the Empress of Vers made promises to them, that one day even Terrans will have access to aldnoah, a power that seems like magic to them. There are reasons to be hopeful.

 

It would be natural for him to move on, just like his other friends who were forced into war.

 

Inaho Kaizuka, the person who defeated the villainous Count Slaine Saazbaum Troyard and ended his life. He is the person who prevented Earth from falling into the hands of the wicked Orbital Knights. Not only is he praised heavily by the Terrans, he is even a trusted friend and ally to the new Empress of Vers. The media glorifies him. He receives countless medals and promotions from the military. He is young, skilled, and influential. He could comfortably live the rest of his life without having to worry about a thing.

 

Instead of continuing to climb up the social ladder and taking advantage of his celebrity, Inaho disappears from the public eye. He politely declines any interviews regarding his fame. He rejects the idea of having a biography written about him. He retains his position yet doesn’t seem to have any desire to pursue a higher rank in the military. He changed his address.

 

Gradually, the general public begins to search for another spotlight. Attention placed on him slowly dwindles,  which is exactly what Inaho wishes for.

 

He is content with what he has now.

He isn’t interested in the publicity, because that is only going to make his life more complicated.

 

There is a secret that Inaho Kaizuka needs to protect, only known by a selected few.

  
  
  


 

 

 

Number one, Slaine Troyard is still alive.

 

Number two, ever since Inaho Kaizuka captured the young count, he has been making regular visits to see him.

  
  
  


 

 

Inaho lifts the lid of the rice cooker, he can tell that the texture of the rice matches up with his standards. He has decided that today is a good day for sushi. He doesn’t know what type of sushi the pale blond likes, so he is going to make a variety of them.

 

He opens his fridge to take out the ingredients he needs. Every single fresh produce in this fridge was hand-picked by him.

 

After he has cut each ingredient into the size he wants, he begins carefully assembling the sushi roll.

 

He remembers how his sister, Yuki, has told him on multiple occasion that he is too invested in this. “He doesn’t even appreciate your visits!” She scowls. “Nao-kun, you should spend more time looking for your happiness!”

 

Whenever Inaho hears her complaints, he only shakes his head, telling her that this is something he wants to do. Over time, Yuki gave up on persuading him.

 

Looking at the sushi sitting neatly in the sushi box, Inaho feels a slight sense of satisfaction.

  
  
  


He understands that what Yuki has said is true.

Slaine Troyard hates him. This is no surprise to Inaho, considering that he is responsible for his downfall. He knew it from gazing into those turquoise eyes when he moved the gun away from his forehead on the beach that night. Slaine was furious, yelling caustic, bitter words at him, telling him to kill him. Inaho did not fulfill his wish.

 

After the war was over, he requested to be put in charge of the former count, which was accepted by the UEF. Through reports sent from the warden every week, he learns how difficult the situation is very quickly.

 

Slaine is suicidal, combined with a noted tendency to violence that could potentially harm others. With the passing of time, Slaine seems to have completely given up on himself. He slowly stops eating any of the meals the guards bring him. The news was alarming to Inaho. That was when Inaho first brought up Asseylum’s name.

 

For a brief moment, he thought he saw a glimpse of light in Slaine’s watery eyes.

 

After that day, Slaine adhere to what is expected of him. He doesn’t refuse to eat anymore, but he also doesn’t demonstrate any more desire to live.

 

Inaho doesn’t have much option. Knowing that Asseylum’s words are probably what matters the most to the blond, he tries reminding him that there is a reason to keep on living. Unfortunately, he observes that her name isn’t evoking the same reaction Slaine Troyard had before anymore. He considers several alternatives, but he is afraid that they might backfire and further exacerbate Slaine’s condition.

 

He keeps his distance, and never tries to draw any information out of Slaine. He thinks that is for the best. Slaine considers him as his most hated enemy, and even Inaho knows that Slaine will be angry to have his boundaries overstepped by him.

 

He believes that at times the mere insight of him triggers enmity in Slaine, so he never stays too long. At the same time, he doesn’t want to stop his visit, even though Slaine clearly doesn’t want anything to do with him. Because then Slaine would be completely isolated from the outside world, and Inaho doesn’t want to make him feel like even he has forgotten about his existence.

 

Yuki had commented on how he is acting illogical these days, spending so much time with someone who shows nothing but negativity towards him. He understands her sentiments, yet he is compelled by some sort of unknown emotion inside of him to see Slaine every week.

 

 

It isn’t obligation, either. Inaho can’t pinpoint on an exact reason behind his actions, but it feels like the right thing to do.

  
  


 

 

He wants to know that he at least made a difference, regardless of how little it is.

  
  
  



	3. Crossroad

 

 

 

 

The guard unlocks the door and makes a hand gesture for him to come out. Slaine is perfectly aware of what this entails and he groans, dragging himself off his bed and exiting his cell.

 

Just as he thought, Inaho Kaizuka is here again. He wishes that the brunet can just leave him alone and move on to a new life. Although he is unsure of what exactly Inaho’s status is like after the war has ended, his guess is that the young soldier has been promoted to a high-ranked officer in the UEF. His flawless tactics and abilities as a pilot would have earned him the title he deserves.

 

Inaho Kaizuka, the war hero of UEF, has such a bright future ahead of him, yet he is wasting his time coming here every week to visit a dead man.

 

It is so illogical that it makes Slaine angry.

 

Every time when he sits across from Inaho, he can feel the brunet’s vacant gaze fixed on him, his monotonous voice reminding Slaine of the dialogues they exchanged when the war was still going on. “You are my enemy.” Inaho had said to him during their fight on the moon base, the same words that he heard from the pilot of the orange Kataphrakt years ago in Tanegashima. That was the first time he had heard Inaho Kaizuka speak with such passion in his voice, and that passion was evoked by his hatred towards Slaine. They tried to end each other’s life on the battlefield numerous times. There isn’t a bit of trust between them, let alone any kind of friendship.

 

He can only see apathy in the young man’s face. He doesn’t pity nor sympathize with Slaine, for obvious reasons, yet he is forced by some sort of obligation, perhaps the words of the empress, to take care of him. According to Inaho, the empress asked the brunet to release him from the chains of misery. That in itself is entirely impossible from the very beginning, yet Inaho continues to make futile attempts in order to keep his promise to Asseylum, again and again. It is cruel, to both Inaho and him.

 

Empress Asseylum…...Is this what she really hopes for?

 

Slaine hates not having any control over his own life. He hates how he has become a burden in someone else’s life and doesn’t even have the power to change it.

 

He would end it all if he could.

 

Slaine watches the guard knocking on the metal door and waits for permission to enter from his superior. Inaho requested for the glass room not to be used again when he discovered how much Slaine dislikes it. Another meaningless attempt to “alleviate his misery”.

 

He hears the familiar calm voice answers “come in” from the room, and the guard opens the door. Slaine, standing outside, is exposed to the impassive stare from Inaho Kaizuka once again. Slaine bites his lower lip as anguish accumulates in his chest, and he walks in obediently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You seem well.” Inaho comments, his tone indifferent as usual. Sitting on the table is a sushi box and the chess set that Slaine has never touched since he has been brought here. Inaho takes off the lid of the box and reveals the delicate sushi rolls handmade by him. Slaine has no appetite but he is still secretly impressed.

 

The pale blond turns his head away, unwilling to engage in a conversation with the young male. He can feel irritation and anxiety boiling inside of him. Slaine bites his lip even harder and tastes blood on his tongue. He doesn’t know how much longer he can endure this.

 

_You can end all of this, right here._

A voice inside of him whispers melodiously.

 

“......Your hair, it has gotten quite long——” From the corner of his eyes Slaine sees that Inaho lifts his right hand off the table, as if he is trying to reach him. _Why does he have to keep on pretending he cares? Why does he come back despite knowing the fact that it brings him nothing in return?_ A sudden burst of anger strikes Slaine’s mind and he can’t stand it anymore. He stands up and violently pushes everything off the table in front of him. Chess pieces along with the sushi box that Inaho brought hit the ground, and Slaine sees Inaho’s remaining burgundy eye widens unexpectedly. The brunet’s hand freezes in midair, and in that split second, Slaine grabs his wrist and slams the younger male onto the floor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inaho’s mind goes blank for a second before he fully grasps the situation he is in now. His vision spinning due to the impact from hitting the back of his head against the concrete floor, he finally recovers from the dizziness and settles his gaze on the former count. For some unrecognizable reason, he had unconsciously tried to reach out and touch Slaine’s hair when he saw how long it is, which resulted in giving the blond the opportunity to grab him and push him on the floor. Inaho soon realizes that he is in a disadvantageous position; the pale blond has his knee on top of his chest, his left hand now grabbing Inaho’s collar and the other constraining his right hand. Slaine can make breathing difficult for Inaho by simply shifting his weight onto his knee, putting weighted pressure on top of his lungs. This is beyond the definition of dangerous for the brunet, yet Inaho’s face still remains expressionless.

 

“Why do you keep on coming here? I have told you many times that I don’t want to see you.” Slaine hisses at him, staring at the man beneath him. He can’t understand Inaho Kaizuka. How can he be so calm at a time like this? Does he not value his own life? “This is enough…...I’ve had enough of this…...Hey, good news to you, I am going to end this for both of us.” Slaine looks down at Inaho and smiles caustically; he can feel his heart pounding inside of him. He is holding Inaho’s collar so tightly that his knuckles turn white, and his body begins to tremble.

 

Slaine takes a deep breathe, and the cold look in his eyes is now replaced by a dejected one, yet he still maintains the smile on his face. He must look pathetic to Inaho. “If the guards see me trying to kill you, they will have to shoot me on the spot, right? I am nothing more than a prisoner, a criminal that is hated by everyone on Earth, while you are an important asset to the UEF. Their only option would be to kill me in order to save you.”

 

Slaine remembers reading about the cruel fate of circus animals that try to fight against their fate. When the animals attack the people they are supposed to entertain out of anger or fright, they are immediately put to death. Slaine thinks of the parallels between him and a circus animal.

 

“You are going to be free of me from now on.”

 

_This is what he deserves._

_And Inaho Kaizuka will be able to live his life without ever having to worry about him again._

 

Slaine can feel the adrenaline rushing through his body. All he needs to do is to call the guards over and show them that he is a threat to the new hero of Earth. He can hardly believe that Inaho would let his guards down around him so easily, has he started to think that he is just a harmless animal too? He expects to see some kind of reaction from the younger man. Perhaps a frown for having to break his promise to the empress, now that Slaine will face death soon, but he assumes that it will be nothing more than that, since Inaho doesn’t personally care for him.

 

Slaine opens his mouth to put his plan into action, but Inaho interrupts him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Slaine Troyard.” Inaho calls his name, and he sees the pale blond blinks in surprise. “Do you hate me?”

 

Slaine doesn’t expect to hear such a question from the man that is currently being threatened by him. With a few second of hesitation, he answers “yes, of course” almost too quickly, as if he is trying to hide his uncertainties. 

 

“Then, do you hate yourself?” Inaho throws another question at Slaine, and this time the blond lower his gaze and doesn't respond. The answer is clear to Inaho. Slaine’s goal is to find a way to force the guards to kill him, and he prioritizes that over thoughts of hurting Inaho. Slaine resents his own existence more than he resents Inaho.

 

He remembers the conversation he had with himself before leaving the door. The old approach of using Asseylum’s name is losing its effect. The alternatives that Inaho has in mind. Perhaps it is time for him to……

 

_And what does he have to lose?_

 

“Slaine.”

 

Inaho raises his unconstrained left hand, and wraps his finger gently around Slaine’s hand on the collar of his shirt. The sudden physical contact initiated by Inaho is a shock to Slaine. He hesitates, and out of a fragment of curiosity, allows his fingers to slip.

 

Inaho slowly moves Slaine’s hand up to his throat.

 

“Stop hating yourself. If you need something to direct your anger and hatred at, use me as a target.” Inaho knows about the hatred and the pain boiling inside Slaine’s heart, and he needs to find a way to channel those emotions. Unaffected by Slaine’s astonished expression, he speaks slowly and clearly, his eye meeting Slaine’s blue-green ones. “.......That is alright with me, if it makes things easier for you.”

 

Slaine cannot believe what he is hearing.

 

“A-are you crazy? Why would you suggest such a thing?” Slaine stares at the brunet in disbelief, he looks down and sees that the young male’s hand is still on top of his own, pressing it on top of his neck. Inaho is giving him the power to hurt him. He is letting himself be completely vulnerable to Slaine. He is saying that it is alright to hurt him if that is what Slaine wants to do.

 

Inaho is gazing back at him, lying on the floor, seemingly unalarmed, and makes no gestures of trying to resist him. Killing him right here would be easy. Why is he doing this? Does he not know how dangerous that is? Slaine is so frustrated that he wants to scream.

 

“If you focus your attention on hating me, maybe it will help take your mind off all the self-loathing and suicidal thoughts.” Inaho answers in a blink of an eye, his voice unwavering. He pauses for a second before speaking again. “Continue to live, and keep on hating me for the pain you are experiencing, until it gets better. It will get better. I promise.”

 

Slaine glares at Inaho without having anything to say back. Nothing the brunet said makes any sense. He doesn’t understand. Saying all of this makes it sound like Inaho actually cares about his well-being……and that cannot be true. Why would Inaho go this far to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself? All of the sudden Slaine feels like he can no longer think anymore. He is exhausted. He starts to lean back, releasing Inaho from his constraint. All the countless sleepless nights are taking a toll on him. As if all of his strength is drained away, his body goes weak and he collapses on top of Inaho.

 

 

 

 

 

Inaho stiffens when he feels the blond’s body on top of his own. Alarmed that Slaine might be sick, he sits up against the wall to take a look at his face, but Slaine has a grip on his blazer and refuses to lift his head from Inaho’s chest. Comforted by the fact that Slaine doesn’t seem to be under the danger of severe illness, Inaho contemplates his options. He can tell that Slaine has calmed down and chances of him trying to get himself killed like he just did are relatively slim……

 

…...And Slaine doesn’t seem to mind having physical contact with him, either. Inaho is surprised. Considering how much Slaine must hate him, he thought that the blond would like to stay as far away from him as possible. The new discovery lightens Inaho’s heart a little, although he believes that the former count is simply too tired to care at this point. He did take note of the dark circles under Slaine’s eyes. He isn’t sleeping well here, perhaps a result of the emotional turmoil he suffers from……

 

Inaho adjusts his position slightly, making it easier for Slaine to lean on him comfortably. He will not move away, unless that is what Slaine wishes for.

 

_…...It’s almost like they are cuddling._

But he is probably the last person in this universe that the blond would like to cuddle with. Inaho sighs inaudibly.

 

The sound of footsteps approaches the door. Inaho can feel that Slaine’s body tenses up immediately and tries to back away, but the brunet gently wrap his arm around his shoulders. “Mr. Kaizuka, is everything alright? We heard some noise in there.” The guard asks politely. They have been ordered to stay away unless Inaho calls for them.

 

“Everything is fine. I just dropped something on the ground by accident. Thank you for your concern.” Inaho replies smoothly. The guard answers “Yes, sir” and the footsteps fades away.

 

“You are a liar.” After a few minutes of complete silence, Inaho hears Slaine mutter and he turns his attention to the despondent prisoner. “It is not going to get any better.”

 

“It will.” Inaho says with such assurance in his voice that even he is surprised. “If it doesn’t, then you can hate me more for being a liar.” He looks down and sees the fluffy blond hair brushing against his chest. Without giving a second thought, Inaho raises his hand and strokes Slaine’s hair tentatively, like he had wanted to do before Slaine pushed him on the floor. Slaine lets out a startled gasp at the touch and Inaho lifts his hand off his locks quickly. “Sorry. I was thinking I can get someone to cut your hair if you want.”

 

“That is not necessary.” Slaine purses his lips and slowly starts to get up. Inaho senses that their moments of interaction is now over and stands up from the ground. His brain begins to analyze the behavior that Slaine displayed. He was clearly surprised by Inaho touching his hair, but he didn’t show any signs of disgust or anger…...Is it possible that he doesn’t mind it?

 

Inaho also takes note of that and walks towards the flipped over sushi box on the ground. Needless to say, the food he brought is not edible at this point. He doesn’t want the guards to see the mess and become suspicious, so he kneels down and starts cleaning up with a tissue he found in his pocket.

 

Slaine chews on his lip, a wave of guilt washes over him as he stands there watching Inaho. Now he feels terrible for snapping at Inaho and wasting food. He is used to the life on Vers, where every resource is scarce. Throwing away food like that is utterly unacceptable.

 

And…...he can tell that Inaho spent a lot of time making that for him. Slaine has little experience with cooking, since he and his father left for Mars when he was still very young. But even he knows that making those perfect-looking sushi rolls is time consuming and requires a lot of effort. Inaho doesn’t scold him for such horrid manners.  He doesn’t even reprimand him for attacking him out of nowhere.

 

Slaine wants to apologize but he doesn’t know where to begin. He even desperately wishes the brunet can castigate him so he can accept those words as punishment. Yet the words that left the young male’s lips are the opposite of what he is expecting.

 

“I will bring something different next time, if you don’t like sushi.” Says Inaho as him finishes cleaning up the floor. He puts the sushi box on the table and rubs the back of his head lightly. It is still hurting a little but he doesn’t think it’s anything serious. He has had worse headaches before.

 

Slaine stares at him, wide-eyed. “......Why?” This is the only word that he manages to say. He has asked this question too many times today.

 

“Because I want to. I do this out of my own will. Slaine Troyard.” Inaho turns and looks at Slaine with the deep red eye of his, his voice almost sounds gentle. “Coming here is not a nuisance for me, not at all.”

 

Slaine freezes at first then blushes uncontrollably. Why is Inaho making it sound like he enjoys coming here? There is absolutely no reason for him to feel this way! And why is he overreacting to something Inaho Kaizuka said?

 

“Just leave! You have been here too long today!” Panicked, Slaine pushes Inaho towards the door, the soft pink color on his cheeks is still visible. He stops when he sees Inaho’s hand resting on the doorknob, and he lowers his head. “If you…….are still planning on bringing me stuff next time…...bring me something sweet.”

 

Slaine’s voice grows softer, showing his uncertainty. He wants Inaho to know he doesn’t have to bring him anything anymore, after what just happened. He has no obligation to do so in the first place, and now Slaine had ruined the food that he spent his time making. Inaho has every reason to stop showing his kindness towards him.

 

Inaho turns his head to look at the blond, his burgundy eye shows his surprise.

 

“Understood. I will bring you something sweet next time then.” Inaho nods. His lips curve upward, forming a small smile. He takes a last glance at Slaine before he exits the room.

 

Slaine is dumbfounded. Shocked. Speechless.

 

……Orange knows how to smile?

 

He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else before the man in the blue suit leaves.

 

 

 

 

Slaine barely reacted when the guards come to take him back to his cell. His mind is a mess right now. There are too many questions flying everywhere and he doesn’t have the answer to any of them.

 

In that brief interaction, Inaho Kaizuka completely shattered assumptions Slaine previously had about him.

 

First, Inaho said he comes here out of his own will, meaning he is not visiting him just because of the empress.

 

Second, Inaho doesn’t see him as a bother.

 

 Third, Inaho seems to genuinely care about him as a person.

 

 Of course, he could be saying all of that just to make Slaine feel less troubled, but for some reason, Slaine believes him. He doesn't seem like the type of people who would tell lies to comfort others. 

 

 

Lastly, Inaho Kaizuka does in fact, knows how to smile. And he just smiled at him. His enemy.

 

 

 

Slaine collapses onto his bed and watches the guard lock the door. He is thankful for the quietness in his cell for once. He has a lot to think about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Coming here is not a nuisance for me._

_…...not at all._

 

 The brunet's voice echoes in his mind. 

 

 

 

The warmth on his cheeks is impossible to ignore. Slaine throws a blanket over himself and curses Inaho Kaizuka from the bottom of his heart.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inaho's responses gave Slaine something to think about! There is less misunderstanding now it seems. How will he react to Inaho's visit next time? C: I hope you all like this chapter!


	4. The Golden Girl

 

 

The cutting edge of the french knife hits against the wooden cutting board, producing rhythmic sounds. Inaho carefully chops the pecan into smaller pieces, the perfect size for the topping he is about to make. In a large cake pan, a beautifully creamy batter awaits its turn in the oven. Sweet aroma fills the entire kitchen: a heavenly combination of caramel, cinnamon, and butter. Inaho puts down the knife and washes his hands before flipping on the oven light switch to check the cake inside of the oven. Another fifteen minutes, he makes a note to himself as he glances over at the clock and then the various mixing bowls on the counter top. This is a good time for him to start working on the dough that has been sitting to rest.

 

For the first time since he has been locked away in prison, Slaine Troyard had a request for him.

 

 _“Bring me something sweet.”_ He said. And so Inaho Kaizuka complies. He doesn’t exactly know what types of sweets Slaine Troyard enjoys, so he decided that he will go ahead and make a few things to see which one the blond likes the most.

 

Even so, three types of desserts are perhaps a little too much. Inaho tilts his head and ponders thoughtfully. He doesn’t have much experience making these types of sweets, but following a recipe is no difficult task for him. Of course, he read over the reviews before using the recipes to make sure that they can be trusted. With the easy access of the internet, anyone can gather the information they need to successfully create something delicious. With adequate research and attentiveness to details, Inaho is rather confident in the desserts he makes. After all, cooking is something he likes to do since he is young. His sister, Yuki, doesn’t seem to possess any talents in this regard, although everything she makes is full of love and Inaho certainly does appreciate that. After discovering Inaho is surprisingly good in the kitchen, Yuki gladly handed over the job of cooking to the hands of her brother.

 

 _“Oh, Nao-kun, you are going to be so popular with all the girls when you grow up! Girls can’t resist guys that can cook!”_ He remembers his sister would always say that while giggling proudly. Inaho is largely indifferent to the statement because popularity among girls was never one of his concerns. At the time he just wanted to be able to help his sister out and relieve her stress.

 

All he wishes for is that Slaine will like at least one of them…….Now Inaho is suddenly grateful that making desserts is something that lies within his capabilities. He can hardly explain the emotions that ran through his mind when he heard the words coming from Slaine’s lips. Most of the time, Slaine either pretends he doesn’t exist or glares at him when he visits. He is never bothered by Slaine’s bitter attitude towards him. After all that they have been through, it is only natural for Slaine to resent him. It is logical. His only concern is that he feels like there is so little he can do for him. The homemade lunches and books were his idea, and he doesn’t even know if Slaine likes them or not. Slaine rarely shares his thoughts with Inaho.

 

But this time, Slaine asked something from him. This is a change. In Inaho’s opinion, it is a positive change. Slaine had opened up to him, just a little.

 

The idea is almost exciting to think about. Inaho can’t help but to wish for more, even though that is perhaps asking for too much of Slaine. As much as he knows how Slaine doesn’t want anything to do with him, he believes that he can help improve Slaine’s conditions if he is willing to allow Inaho to know more about how he feels.

 

Inaho is reminded of Slaine’s reaction upon hearing that he doesn’t see him as trouble and he comes to visit him out of his own will. The way his face flushed and panicked tone were both entirely new to Inaho. Even without his analytic engine, Inaho can tell that Slaine didn’t react out of disgust. Just as Inaho is about to accept that progress is impossible to achieve, there seems to be a glimpse of hope; a new path has cleared its way for him.

 

 

 

 

Yesterday’s visit left him a lot to think about.

Inaho opens the oven and a wave of heat rushes out. He checks that his first cake is thoroughly cooked and puts the second cake pan on the bottom shelf.

He believes this is a step towards the direction he desires.

Without even realizing it, the corners of his lips curve upward ever so slightly.

 

 

 

Inaho ended up spending his entire afternoon baking and cleaning up the messy kitchen. Since this is the first time Slaine asked for anything, he doesn’t want to disappoint the blond. This seems to be the least he can do for him. The luscious scent of baked goods permeates throughout the house and Inaho thinks he wouldn’t mind making “baking for Slaine Troyard” part of the routine in his life. He can get used to this.

 

There is still some time left before he has to start on dinner. Inaho decides to take a small break and heads toward his study.

 

 

 

 

Inaho’s brows furrow as he skims over his inbox, an expression of disappointment surfacing to his usual impassive countenance. He has been waiting for a message from a specific person for weeks now; the long wait has made him uncharacteristically impatient.

 

Asseylum Vers Allusia.

The Versian empress is the very person that Inaho has been waiting for.

 

He wouldn’t have been able to contact the empress directly if it wasn’t for the brief period of time they spent together on the Deucalion. The young girl, still a princess at the time, was always smiling brightly and spoke kindly to everyone. She was one of the few who weren’t taken aback by his cold attitude.

 

He can still remember her melodious voice and her wavy golden hair. He can picture the way her green eyes gleam when she saw a seagull soaring in the blue sky for the first time, and the beam on her face when she told him that their mission was successful.

 

He had wanted to answer her, but the next moment it was all gone.

 

The warmth of her hand when she reached out to hold his own had disappeared following the sound of gunshots. The desire to save her was the only thing left on his mind when he saw her lying lifelessly on the ground through his blurry vision. That was the last piece of memory he had before Slaine Troyard shot him.

 

Everything changed after 19 months. His analytical engine told him that the princess calling for war wasn’t the same Asseylum he had known, and he believed it when nobody else did.

He wanted to save her this time, and that’s why he insisted on rescuing her even when the UEF set its mind on eliminating the princess.

 

Inaho recalls their last encounter on the moon base, and he subconsciously lifts his hand to where his analytical engine used to be before he chose to remove it for good.

 

 _“Please, free him, free Slaine Troyard from the chains of misery……!”_ The princess cried as she asked for her last request. For months, Inaho mulled over the meaning of her words, and wondered if he did the right thing. From what he observed, Slaine Troyard was not released from his suffering. He had gathered enough information to prove that the statement is evident. Inaho quickly realizes that he needs to do more in order to truly “save” the blond.

 

Merely keeping him alive in a prison is cruel and nowhere near the definition of salvation. For once, the brunet questioned if he is capable of following through with Asseylum’s wish.

 

Why did she choose to ask him? Inaho couldn’t quite answer the question himself. Slaine Troyard hates him more than anything in the world. He knows that his personality is nowhere near hospitable. He is not like his sister, who always seems to be radiating with positive energy. Sometimes he wishes he is more like her. He is too analytical and social cues are still difficult for him to grasp at times. Relating to other people has never been something he is good at. He knows how fortunate he is to have a group of friends who never take his bluntness as an insult.

 

Can he really _save_ Slaine Troyard?

Even though virtually all of his visits end with either Slaine completely ignoring him or bickering with him, the option of giving up has never crossed his mind.

 

Today, Asseylum carries the burden of being a country’s leader. Ever since the war has ended, she has been tirelessly traveling around the world negotiating with the remaining Orbital Knights who refuse to return their acquired land to Earth.

 

Two month after the ceasefire, a celebratory ceremony took place in Shinawara, the city where the war broke out, symbolizing the hope for peace between the two planets for many years to come. The leaders and high-ranked officials of the UEF met with the empress and her fiancé to further discuss the future of Vers and Earth. Inaho, recently promoted, was also invited to join the event.

 

He was originally about to decline the invitation, but Yuki insisted that this is something that could better his future. Unable to reject his sister’s wish, Inaho agreed to put on the expensive suit she purchased for him and attended the ceremony.

 

Just like Inaho had thought, the ceremony was lackluster and nothing in particular interested Inaho. He sipped on his glass of water while watching the Vice Admiral absent-mindedly.

 

What he didn’t expect, was being approached by a familiar brown haired girl.

 

“Miss Eddelrittuo……”

 

The girl had changed since the last time he saw her in Russia. She seemed to have grown a little taller. Instead of putting her hair up neatly like she always did, she had let her long hair flow down her shoulders, the brown locks swished from side to side along her movements. She was wearing a pink dress with a white flowery cardigan. Inaho was surprised to see that the empress didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight. He would never expect Eddelrittuo to leave her side. 

 

“Mr. Kaizuka……” The girl took another step towards him, her hands nervously clenching the small white purse in her hands. Inaho was again astonished without letting it show on his face. While she was on the Deucalion, she had always illustrated a strong dislike towards him for his lack of manners while speaking to the princess. She used to make faces at Inaho behind Asseylum’s back and called him a “rude Terran” all the time, not that Inaho really minded or cared. The Eddelrittuo in front of him right now was polite, and there wasn’t the slightest hint of disdain in her voice. She even addressed him as “Mr. Kaizuka.”

 

“C-could I speak with you for a moment?” Eddelrittuo pushed her hair behind her ear in a stiff motion, her eyes anxiously glancing at the people standing around them. Her purple eyes were full of inexplicable sadness, but he could also see the determination behind her sorrow. It was clear that she wanted to speak to him in private. Inaho took the clue and nodded.

 

“Yes. Of course.” He made a gesture at the door. “Let’s go somewhere with less people.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I am returning to Vers in a few days.” The girl announced in a small voice, the news was unexpected to hear and Inaho blinked a few times without saying a word. “Empress Asseylum insisted that it’s time I go see my family in Vers. I won’t be serving her highness on her trips around the world.” She contemplated for a few seconds before raising her head to meet Inaho’s gaze. “This is perhaps the last time I will be on Earth. Before I leave, there is something I would like to ask to you about, Mr. Kaizuka.”

 

“Go ahead.” Inaho said with a blank expression. His curiosity was aroused. What could Eddelrittuo possibly want to speak with him about? The only subject Inaho could think of was something that has to do with Asseylum, but he is no longer part of her world anymore.

 

The girl carefully double checked that there is no one around to eavesdrop on them before taking a deep breath and allowing the quivering words escape her lips.

 

 

 

 

“Lord Slaine……how is he?”

 

 

 

 

 

Inaho’s deep red eye widened at her words, and Eddelrittuo smiled at him sadly. “Her highness has told me Lord Slaine is still alive…...and what happened to him.” She grasped the hem of her dress, as if she was trying to suppress the boiling emotions that were threatening to tear her apart. “I wanted to find out before I return to my homeland.”

 

“Miss. Eddelrittuo……” Inaho saw the tears gathering in those purple and he handed her his handkerchief. She accepted it with gratitude, mouthing a silent “thank you”. Inaho’s face remains expressionless but the impact of the young girl’s words on him was huge. He could clearly remember her distaste towards Terrans when they were still on the Deucalion. He didn’t expect her to care so much about the well-being of Slaine Troyard, to the point where she decided to confront him with a question like this. “I apologize, but I cannot release any information about the prisoner.” He paused before adding: “As you said, he is in fact alive.” He knew that alone would be less than satisfactory for the girl, and he could tell that she was worried about him, but he couldn’t tell her more about Slaine’s state.

 

“I understand.” The light in the girl’s eyes dimmed, and she lowered her head in resignation.

 

Eddelrittuo’s loyalty to Asseylum is unquestionable. As a servant of the royal princess, she certainly adores Asseylum unconditionally and has the uttermost respect for her. She wouldn’t dare to challenge any words coming from Asseylum.

 

Yet here she is, lamenting over the fate of the man who was blamed for the assassination of Asseylum and starting the war between Earth and Vers.

 

Inaho knew that Eddelriuttuo would never display such affection for someone who had any ill-will against the empress. Which means Slaine Troyard was an ally of Asseylum at the very least. Inaho began to rapidly analyze every single encounter he had with the blond. Was he a friend or foe in Tanegashima? Back then he had categorized the unknown pilot as a threat to their safety, and he reacted accordingly. Did he make a mistake? But Slaine Troyard also stopped him from killing Saazbaum and…...Remembering the cold teal eyes staring down at him, Inaho could almost feel the agonizing pain that hit him before he fell to the ground unconscious.

 

“Lord Slaine has never wished for anything other than happiness for the empress, and he sacrificed a lot in order to protect her highness……” Eddelrittuo suddenly started speaking once again; her expression softened as she reminisced the memories of the former count on the moon base.

 

 “Lord Slaine……is a really kind person.”

 

They did not have the luxury of an in depth conversation, but Eddelrittuo told him as much as she could about the count that almost conquered Earth, and Inaho listened. She told him about the flower language she had learned from him. She told him about the pictures of different types of birds he showed her. She told him how the count had shed tears in front of the princess’s life support countless times yet he never gave up hope that she would wake up one day. Inaho learned that while he was undergoing physical pain after the injury that almost claimed his life, Slaine was also going through emotional torment of his own.

 

Inaho’s mind was even more troubled than before yet he was intrigued. He wanted to know more. He wanted to be able to put all the pieces together. Which one is the real Slaine Troyard? The Slaine Troyard who shot him in the eye. The Slaine Troyard who was kind to his servants and subordinate. The Slaine Troyard who was merciless on the battlefield. The Slaine Troyard who provided the best care he could for the wounded princess. The Slaine Troyard who ordered to completely annihilate the Terrans. The Slaine Troyard who was a skilled politician and gave eloquent speeches in front of the other knights. The Slaine Troyard who wished for death. The Slaine Troyard who spat venom at him. The Slaine Troyard who cried upon hearing the empress’s name.

 

_Slaine Saazbaum Troyard._

 

 

_Who are you?_

 

The information he collected from the girl gave him a better insight to his character, yet Inaho still had more questions than answers.The blond was like a complicated equation Inaho could not solve, no matter how many different approaches he took.

 

 

Before she left that day, Eddelrittuo handed him an origami of a rose, folded with blue paper. She smiled shyly. “The blue rose was Lord Slaine’s favorite flower.” She said, her tone laced with nostalgia. “I learned that there are two different meanings for blue roses.”

 

“The first one is ‘impossible’.”

“And the second one, ‘miracle’.”

 

“I have always adored the latter meaning.” She smiled at Inaho. “I wish that one day……miracles will happen to Lord Slaine too.”

 

“Thank you. Miss. Eddelrittuo.” Inaho replied with a smile, carefully placing the blue rose origami in his pocket. “And you don’t have to worry, I don’t……hold any grudges towards him.” He knew that is one of Eddelrittuo’s concerns, knowing Slaine is responsible for the loss of his left eye. He wanted to assure her that he has no intention of seeking revenge.

 

Eddelrittuo beamed with relief upon hearing his words before waving goodbye. Inaho returned to the grand ballroom just in time for the empress’s speech. She was smiling kindly as always, and spoke with humility and grace. Inaho knew that this was probably the last time he would ever see the girl he once sought to protect, yet after his conversation with the empress’s former maid, he could only think about the blond sitting alone in his prison cell suffering an unjust punishment. The hollowness in his voice, the lack of will to live in those blue-green eyes of his, the insufferable pain that he couldn’t explain.

 

Eddelriuttuo said Slaine had never wanted to harm the princess and he cherished her more than anyone in the world. He had only used her name because he was left with no other options. Saazbaum was the real culprit behind the assassination plot, and Asseylum was aware of that when he attempted to kill her in Russia. Yet instead of revealing Saazbaum’s crimes, she allowed Slaine Troyard to take blame of the entire cause of war.

 

Was this what Asseylum truly wished for? _Was this really justice in her eyes?_

 

 

He left the ceremony that night without making an effort to speak to the empress.

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t until months later that Inaho received a message in his inbox from Asseylum inquiring Slaine’s state. Her letter was sincere and apologetic, expressing that she wished to be able to help him despite of the mistakes he had made in the past, and that she still considers him as someone dear to her. Inaho could feel a slight sense of irritation starting to accumulate in his chest and it was the first time he felt this way towards the empress. It was in those months of her absence when Slaine had been the most unstable, demonstrating high level of psychological distress. Knowing Slaine Troyard’s reverence of Asseylum, Inaho believed that any kind words coming from her would have been able to sooth his pain even just a little. But she wasn’t there.

She wasn’t there for him.

 

Just as usual, Inaho didn’t let his emotion seep into his voice. By that time he already had an idea and her power could only be beneficial to his plan considering how big of a challenge he is about to face.

 

After going through every possible scenario, this was the only one he truly believes would have a chance at freeing Slaine Troyard from his misery.

 

Asseylum had replied with alacrity to Inaho’s response and promised she would do anything to take part in his plan. However, lately Inaho has noticed that it is taking her longer and longer to reply to his messages every time.

 

She is traveling around the world right now, and there are still loads of work waiting for her to take care of in Vers. It is natural for her to take longer. Inaho ponders as he skims through the large volume of messages he got. He knows that there the empress has other important matters to take care of, but he doesn’t want to wait any longer. Not after he noticed how much damage the prison environment has done to Slaine Troyard’s physical and psychological state. He can’t wait any longer.

 

 

Inaho sighs silently as he clicks on the “create new message” button. He drafts another message to the empress, this time with more urgency than before.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE LATE UPDATE! I promise from now on I will post more regularly I am so sorry! OLZ  
> Slaine didn't make an appearance in this chapter, but he will definitely get to interact with Inaho in the next chapter.  
> A huge shout out to Kate for proofreading and supporting me through my writer's block <3


End file.
